and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
