is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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