i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
