He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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