just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
