yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
