kristin has been a bad kristin
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
