yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
