i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
