Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
