We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
