quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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