You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
