sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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