butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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