Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
