Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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