Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
