his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
