i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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