Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
