I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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