we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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