We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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