so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
did i just pee glitter
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
