playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
