I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
