i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
