No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
