Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize