So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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