Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
