I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
