I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She told me I should be a condom model.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
