I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
