And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
