just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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