I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I fill condoms, not promises.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
