Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dear god my vagina.
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