Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
