get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i think im in europe. pls send help
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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