I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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