Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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