i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
