The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
