Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
