Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
