i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
