reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
