it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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