If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
