just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
